Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

I don't think it's over between you two. I think, out of all the sitches in this forum, you have the best chance at R.

Seriously? I was thinking it is starting to look dismal! He left me when I was pregnant and has remained with her since S was born...9 months now! I mean I do have hope but it seems like the light is getting dim (I think of hope as looking like light shining down from a dark sky)

Your H strikes me as a guy who is being controlled by OW and is simply too scared and indecisive to drop her. I get the feeling he simply hasn't got a clue what to do or what he is actually doing and is simply 'along for the ride'. The texts, the talks, the time he is spending with you just strike me as somebody who is cake eating but also somebody who is maybe reaching out a little. I'm not sure. Maybe I'm off base, but that's the impression I'm getting. It would be nice if he manned up though and did the right thing, whatever that may be.

P, this is rather insightful--this seems plausible--he is the kind of person who doesn't make major decisions quickly and mulls them over until he decides. So if he is going along for the ride and maybe reaching out, is it bad that I have started pulling away a little? I keep reading advice given to other BSs on here or in newcomers. Sandi says they need to hit rock bottom or face the fear of losing something major before coming out of it. So I have been thinking about pulling away more and more and telling him he needs to take S with him on his days off instead of coming here; but 8 hours is too long for S to be away.

ANd continuing this thought: if he is indecisive, let's say, and going along for the ride, then could he be looking for signs from me saying "I am done" to help him decide to D? (I know it's mind reading but I think it's okay to brainstorm possible scenarios) Is it bad that I have been so nice and caring and then by switching to being more distant it will give him the wrong message? Ugghh...confused...