Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Wake up today almost with a Limboland hangover. The day with W and the girls was like a drug and now I'm going through withdrawal.

W called to say I could have the girls next Saturday to take to Chicago since today is so crappy. She said roads were so bad she was stranded at her friend's house for the night.

I soooo want to call her friend and verify the story. But what does it matter, really? We are still on the D train. I almost feel like the only way I can turn the page and get my pride back is to file for the D myself. I feel so weak and taken advantage of.

Yesterday will forever be the last Christmas we were together as an intact family. At least it was a good one and I didn't overreach or force an R talk. It'll eventually be a good memory.

I do not know how you successful LBSs handled this. I'm just at 7 1/2 months and I'm still having days like this. Dottie, the DB counselor, said if I wanted my marriage to work, I needed to strap in and be prepared to wait 18 months or longer for this to work.

I don't know if I have that kind of strength.