how to 180 when you've been too independent?

[avermont]

Thanks for checking in. I'm not real clear on how to keep threads/forums consistent.

Update: bill paying was fine & friendly. I was business like. He initiated convo about his truck. Finished bills, then he prolonged convo, asking about one of my volunteer projects.

Walked out together. He said in a soft little way "guess I 'll get in my little rental car and go home..."

Very diff from Oct. When I last saw him.

Based on this and nothing else, I allowed myself total non-detach, fantasy I might get a txt on my bday(ties).

Of course, got nothing, sobbed and wept in spite of having good day with friends.

Stupidly checked in with his mom to see if he was in town Xmas eve, so I would feel safer going to bar.

Turns out they went to Chicago for Xmas. 2nd time he has gone. Then they are going to his mom's in AZ.

He really does not like his mom. She is very socially awkward. When we visited her, I did a lot of the work to keep convo pleasant and going.

So it is a VERY big deal to bring OW to meet her. His mom is on my side, but of course she will be polite and want her son to be happy.

I literally cried all day. One of the worst days ever.

On a good note, I took your advice cutter, and dealt with the tenants/being away without contacting him OR putting his phone in the info

Very interesting that he goes away for a week without checking that I am around for the week to keep an eye on tenants. A real letting go re: house/tenant.

Upshot is, I am back several steps in detaching, and deeply into grief.

Bad couple of days, for sure.

How was getting thru Xmas for you?