Deployed Soldier/Father needs your help

[SoldierDad]

Greek,

You are correct. If she was truly happy, why would she take time away from her new "love" to send me a series of nasty texts, telling me how I used to make her sick to her stomach etc?

She wouldn't, that's why.

She is miserable, and that gives me a brief bit of satisfaction.

My W thinks the answer to her problems, is getting rid of me, partying, going from man to man, trying to latch onto one, and in the meantime, trying to hurt me with snapshots of her pathetic new life.

It's just sad.

[givingitmyall]

What Greek said. Your W really is off the rails.

I understand wanting to know why. It won't change things, but we think it will make it a little easier to accept if we understand it. I'd be willing to bet your W probably doesn't even know why. And you simply can't let yourself try to figure it out, or try to do so. Leads you to a frustrated and unhealthy place.

As hard as it is, try to rid yourself of her venomous comments.

[SoldierDad]

gima,

I really believe that what I am doing - db, is driving her nuts.

She isn't getting a reaction out of me, and so she just digs deeper to find things to hurt me.

I ALLOW her to hurt me when she sends me these hurtful words, and I have GOT to find a way to deal with it.

I am an analytical guy anyway, I have a need to know WHY something works a certain way, or WHY someone does what they are doing.

My W, right now is NOT the woman I love and cherish. She is a devil woman, and doesn't know what she is doing. I know each sitch is different, but can anyone recall someone as nasty as my W on these boards?

I read other sitch's, and mine seems completely out in left field compared to others.

I wish my W would wake up soon.

[antlers]

Hey man.

Right now she is selfish and self-centered. The whole world revolves around her and what she wants. She seems different from the person you've known all these years because she 'is' different...at least to you. Truly happy people aren't full of hatred and vindictiveness. She does everything she needs to do in order to justify her decisions...even if it means convincing herself that what she's doing is OK, even if it means being hateful and vindictive, etc..

[sandycay]

I agree with Greek... and I think she's not really trying to convince you as much as she is trying to convince herself of all this BS.

That said.... block her from texting your phone. She can call if it's important. I don't think you need anymore ammo against her in that arena. Stop what is hurting you.

Seriously what kind of man would want to hang out with a woman that bashes on her H like that. Batchitt crazy this one is!

[Frosty Michael]

My W, right now is NOT the woman I love and cherish. She is a devil woman, and doesn't know what she is doing. I know each sitch is different, but can anyone recall someone as nasty as my W on these boards?

While my W wasn't as nasty and vidictive in the same ways, her faults were amplified times 100. She did say things and do things to get a rise out of my the first time I DBed her. And the world did (and still does) revolve around her.

As tough as it is, the best thing to do is ignore it and GAL. Maybe talk to your L and see if he still thinks it's necessary for you to save her texts or if you can just start blocking them.

[SoldierDad]

Ok, quick update:

Made it back to home city from M, just as we get inside city limits, S15 tells me he wants to go home. I politely say no, that I will take him home on Monday. He says, "Dad, I really want to go home-not to be with Mom, but to sleep in my own bed. You can pick me up tomorrow morning" I reluctantly take him home, he gives me a huge hug, and goes inside. 5 minutes after I pull away, W sends me a text - "Ha ha".

I have S12 with me and we are having a blast, but it hurt that S15 wanted to go home. But, that is MY problem, not his.

I will wait and see if he calls tomorrow to go out.

Also, W had texted me X-mas eve, telling me that she would under NO circumstances be home on Monday-this was important, as I thought I had to return overseas on Monday-turned out it is Tuesday. Well, something happened last night on her trip, and there was her car sitting in the driveway, and her standing at the door.

Guess I shouldn't give 2 $hits what happened, but it makes me thing that her and OM got into some sort of spat-but again, that is pure speculation, and I shouldn't give a $hit about it.

My W is SOOOOOO nasty, and vindictive. She is doing whatever it takes to make me seem like this is all MY fault, but I am not giving her the satisfaction of any kind of response.

[givingitmyall]

SD,

You did the right thing with S15. He will see through this sitch, if he hasn't already, and especially what your W is doing. Take the high road.

Yes, your W is vindictive. She also strikes me as very immature, even for someone in this sitch. You are probably too close to it to realize, but she comes across as desperate when she send you those texts. If she were secure, she would have no need to rub anything in your face - she wouldn't care. So appreciate it for what it is. The worthless spew that it is.

[Super Girl]

SD, your wife is a douche.

Please, block all texts from her.

[SoldierDad]

gima,

I thought about her sending me those nasty texts last night, and it seems to me, that if she was so freaking happy, what was she doing taking time away from the OM to send me texts letting me know how much she hated me? I think greek touched on that too.

I am and will continue to ignore her, and her spew. All she is doing is looking to get a reaction out of me, and when she finally realizes that I'm not gonna bite, she will have to do something else to try to get to me.