New to the Divorce Situation

[DDogs]

UPDATE:

Well the MC went in a different direction that I expected. MC began by telling me he had looked into Retroauville and that he thought it looked very good. He made a point to mention that it wasn't a retreat or encounter group but for communications.

I began this time by telling MC that that's what I want. I don't want to be in the type of relationship that I am in now, and it's not the type that I want. I want better fundamentals of communication so any future relationships wouldn't suffer, have me repeat my unhealthy habits and be in the same situation. W agreed and nodded in affirmation.

I said W and I get along great in almost every other facet of our relationship:
-The kids we agree on raising
-Planning big events ie, moving/relocating, buy all of our homes
Coordinating the household

The only thing we can't do well is communicate interpersonally. This then affects our personal well being kind of communication and that bleeds over into our intimate communication BIG time.. A MC from our past once stated that we hadn't figured out in 10 yrs what a lot of figure out in the first 2 yrs of M......

Anyways, so the MC then asks about what we plan to do with ourselves and the kids for the holiday and like clockwork, W and I go into planning mode. Exchanging ideas, cooperating, negotiating, compromising and outlining what we would like to do.

After about 10 min, the MC pauses and tells us to look at what we just accomplished.. the idea sharing, talking, listening, problem solving... MC brought it to our attention that we work problems out together effectively,,, my thoughts,,, [censored]!!!WHY CAN'T WE JUST WORK OUR DAMN PERSONAL LIVES LIKE THAT, WTF!!!!

fast forward to xmas. I stay over xmas eve and we shop, cook and enjoy the kids,, great day for the most part. One small road bump for me.. W got some txt msg from work and began to giggle, and my radar, which is hi, kicked in.. I 180'd did not mention anything and went about my business.. I did a small test on my behalf to test the W response, I had my personal cell phone lying out and without being seen, I called it from my work phone... I picked it up and had a brief Merry Xmas, yes/no conversation and then hung up. This very obviously got the W attention but W went very obviously out of her way to seem uninterested, but it was to obvious she was curious... I left my phone (locked) a particular way on the table and when I returned from the ride it was not how I had left it so I know W had checked it..

W and I fall asleep on the couch and end up kind sprawled out. I get up and say I'm going to sleep in the bed and ask if she's like to come, she says yes. We sleep in the same bed, no activity, just sleep...... I backslid a bit here, but I'm chalking it up to being sleepy...won't repeat that.

Xmas day, we have presents, kids play, golfcart rides...dinner and movies all day. W and I watched some chick comedy/love stories and we laughed almost the entire day thru. I spend time with the kids, back and forth between kids and movies with W. At 6pm I tell W I decided that I'm staying tonight also,, no argument from W. I sleep alone in the Master and W sleeps in the guest room...

I have been struggling with the idea of moving back into my home, but had concerns regarding my emotions and if I could keep them in check and be able to effectively DB...I feel my meds are helping and I'm becoming better with the tools of DB I have been using. I feel the need to be back in my home not to show the W my changes but to reestablish myself and my identity... To move on with my life. It felt so good being back with the kids and dogs...!

I have my condo til 1/4,, So that is now my timeline...

Anyone with any thoughts, suggestions or 2x4's I'd be interested in opinions.