really dont know what ex as turned into, he saw son for a couple of hours christmas eve, phoned him up christmas day, that so far is a big improvement from the last few years and he is supposed to be seeing son today as well. Phoned ex's old aunt last night to check on her, ex hasnt even phoned or been to see this lady, she as been sat at home on her own in her flat on christmas day, also this is the day her mother died 9 year ago, I cannot believe that he hasnt been in touch with her at all, and that he could sit there partying with wifeys family and leave his poor old aunt all on her own, and I have to say this is the first christmas his aunt hasnt been with him on christmas day in all his life, wat a star he as turned into.
Mandyloo, I know EXACTLY what your XH has turned into.... A selfish Arse, nothing more, nothing less. Its not going to change, the OW dominates his life and he has made it very clear he chooses her over everything and everyone.
so son did a u turn yesterday and decided to go for tea with his dad and dads new family, it upset me a little as I dont want to think son is being bullied into this situation again, it is like dejavue, we were here 5 years ago, but I refrained from commenting and if that is what son wants to do that is what he will do, I have to respect his wishes and allow him to follow his own choices, he is 15 years old now and knows his own head, I only hope he doesnt end up getting torn apart again, but life must go on xxx
Perhaps, he feels he has the maturity now to deal with them. I hope he mentions his aunt to his dad.
You are dealing with this with grace and honour to your son, even though it must be hurting. Well done!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
BeingMe, thanks for you reply, I just asked son if hed had a good time, didnt ask anything else, he never mentioned auntie wasnt there and i didnt ask. ex would of only made a lie up if he had asked. ex said that son was invited to another party on tuesday that is at wifeys brothers house, son says he is not going and also said that if dad just thinks he is going to go down there all the time he as another think coming, so it could of just been a flash in the pan we will see.
old aunt has phoned me today to say that she knew son had been for tea with dad and that she found out by accident, asked how come, she has these funny little turns that send her crashing to the floor for no apparent reason, on her emergency contact number it is ex, few weeks ago she was saying she was going to change it, I told her not to as I fully thought that in an emergency he would be there for her, anyhooow she had a funny turn and ended up on the floor, contacted the people she has to contact in this situation and they contacted ex who in ten minutes was up there getting her off the floor, she is fine once she is off the floor so he didnt stay and she thanked him, i told her at least she knew he would be there in a real emergency and it is only a big bravado act that he is acting out, at least he helped his old aunt, x
ML, I do feel for your X's aunt but perhaps he will turn a corner at some point.
Wifey or not, it is good that your S is re-forming a relationship w/X. I believe abandonment issues are difficult enough but your S was at a particularly impressionable age, it seemed.
I can say that it is difficult to see children form R with OP, but it is better that they have relationship w/X.
M: 16 years Bomb 4/07 OW 20s long gone Divorced 11/09 I remarried New Guy Cooperative r w/X regarding D
so son took the plunge and went for tea again, that I can handle, but there is a little something that is flummoxing me and causing me to chuckle a little to myself, when my son goes out he is always smartly dressed, always has been and always will be, he as never had to have other peoples hand me downs. so why is it then that all of a sudden when visiting his dad in this new sitch does dad feel the urge to give son some of his old clothes, that I have to say wont even fit son, but even son comes in laughing and says hes give me more clothes, they are not sons style, wont fit, and are second hand,and are shabby, what is all this about. x
M, Had to say, but my first thought was guilt...maybe he thinks you are spending entirely too much on your son's clothing and he feels bad about it? But, on the other hand, I'm wondering if this is what happened to him at that age and history is repeating itself.
Who knows what he's thinking these days. He's a basket case and doesn't need anyone to assist him in being stamped "certified".
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
