Too Close to Sitch (sorry.. long first post)

[chatterbug]

DG most of that talk is fog talk. But you gotta see through the fog to what is actual complaints that you know you own. Adultery. He owns that 100%. But in those conversations are clues. Clues that you can 180.

I call BullS on the following

Says I pushed him to the PA by shutting down
- Said if I had picked up on his deliberate “clues” to the PA the first time he went away he would have broken it off with her
- Can’t trust me to not shut down/hurt him again
- Says changes I’ve made are a last ditch effort to keep him
- Was happy with our family life, and being a husband but our R was horrible
- Says OW loves him even though he lied to her about being married at first (obviously unconditional love as opposed to our 20 yr R!)
- Says he is in love with her but at another point/day says he isn’t sure. When I question that, he says he just doesn’t want to hurt me anymore so he says he isn't
- When I said I would fight for our R and would not agree to D, he said now you know how it feels to be the only one fighting
- Responded to my saying OW must be the “love of his life” by saying “I didn’t say that”
- Said that throughout all of the EAs and this PA he’s never said “I love you” to anyone (last week)
- Out of the blue in a conversation about money he said “I want you to know I’m not enjoying this. I’m not out partying and seeing women all over the place.” (yesterday)
- Said he’s noticed changes but can’t trust they are permanent
- Said all he has in him is friends right now
- Told me to go ahead with my life and if he should fit in somewhere down the years then so be it


So have you thought about moving forward?

Have you exposed?
Does your S13 know?
Based on both your family history what family members can support you?
Do you have any friends who can support you?

Sounds like you have had a rough life. But it also sounds like you are a survivor. So your going to have to call on that inner strenght. As you have been doing.

I think I missed it but is your H seeing an IC ?????

Now that your here keep posting. And those who post on your thread. Read theirs. And then post advice to them as well. It really helps.

You keep mentioning co-dep. Do you think you can detach?

Some big guns will drop by and do a hit and run. But a few will stay around to help you.



And one more thing.

{{Hugs}} you need one.

Take Care DG. A very good nic.

And proof I read it all....

Thanks for this gem.

ostrich syndrome.

Going to use that one.