Cutters story

[chatterbug]

Well Cutter is going to retire this thread.

I feel that I have gotten over the craziness and lack of control in my life.

So I am going to end this chapter and start a new one over in the section where I feel more comfortable in. Infidelity/Extramarital Affairs/Jealousy
I feel I can relate more to the people in that section and I need to stop thread capping my friend P17's stich.
No disrespect to any of you fine folks. I will still be posting away and hopefully helping some people here.

I truly thank each and everyone who took time out of their lives to read about my life and to those who posted. Words cannot describe the strenght you have given me.

Here is where I leave this thread.

1. Plan B in effect since Sept 15th.
2. Affair not busted.
3. Relationship with inlaws good and did not stop ( Very proud of my effort here. Unconditional love )
4. Going to start IC to continue to work on my goals ( I did not want to start until I was strong enough to do this )
5. Continue detaching. ( The greatest gift one can give themselves )
6. Continue to date. ( It works when you have strong boundaries in place and just have fun and make sure you do not get in a positon to compromise your morals )
7. Stay in the house until spring then move.
8. Keep with the running.

I find most days I feel normal. happy , sad , detached and some times numb. Which is good. As to feel one of these emotions all the time would mean that something is wrong. Detachment was the most important part of getting myself here. It helped remove the fear.

Anyone who is afraid needs to remember. What worse can they do... Get angry. Who cares. They have done their worst emotionally. They made choices that affected your life without any consideration. Its all shits and giggles now. Take control of your life. Do it anyway you can. Detachment is truly the only tool to get you to a place where you can start to heal and work on yourself.

My work is ongoing. Its been the toughest 6 months of my life.

I have overcome MCL ( leg ), depression, adultry , destruction of my marriage, fear of the future , and fear standing on my feet.

I found my nuts.

I have a good framework in place to develop a backbone. I am now going to develop the framework to make sure my changes become habits.

Thank you friends. Thank you very much.

Each of you please Take Care.

Cutter.

P.S. Cutter Bug on the book....

[Gnosis]

Hey bro, I'll look you up over there. I'm not sure how I could assist. We'll keep in touch. And yeah, lemme know which resources you want in the alt.

[rockedworld]

Good for you Cutter! I wish you all the best... might see you on your new thread sometimes...
Rocked

[soleil]

Cutter, we're sad to see you leave here but very happy that it seems you are finding peace now!

[Gardener]

Cutter,

Good Luck.
Thank you.
Merry Christmas to you.

[Gardener]

cutter,

Hey G. I am just heading out. One last check to see if anyone wanted a passing thanks.

Good lord picked you my friend.

Thank you

I'm honored, sir.

[sandi2]

Cutter, if you see this.....please go to Tangotaketo's thread and advise him.

Thanks

[luvless]

It seems that WAS likes to say, i will always love you. What in the HELL does that mean?
You will always love me, except when i am loving someone else? How can you love someone that way. There is no love like blood family love.
YOu do not get to divorce your family so what is it they really mean about I will always love you?

Kind of convenient thing to say huh? I know that if i was the WAS and i found another woman that rocked my world (pathetic i know but its just an example), i would not be telling my ex i will always love you.

What a cop out thing to say in my opinion.
What it really means to me is this: i don't love you anymore, but i can't bring myself to tell you that because I feel guilty of what i have done, therefore it is easier in my mind to justify everything if i tell you that i still love you, because i am that shallow in believing that love never dies.

This is what my WAH has told me. It IS pathetic and I think the same thing - if I had some "new love" I sure as hell wouldn't be telling my x that I will "always love you!"

so hurtful

[luvless]

[quote=cutterbug]

Anyone who is afraid needs to remember. What worse can they do... Get angry. Who cares. They have done their worst emotionally. They made choices that affected your life without any consideration. Its all shits and giggles now. Take control of your life. Do it anyway you can. Detachment is truly the only tool to get you to a place where you can start to heal and work on yourself.

AMEN! I need to copy this and keep it close to me!

[luvless]

Cutter - I just went through your thread - hugs!