One day at a time....

[Deep]

I'm not sure I can add that much that is helpful Rocked, but if I had to use a word it would be Acceptance.

Youve been hurt, badly. Wounds this deep don't heal overnight, and not without scars. H, on his part, did some bad mistakes, whether in a fog or not, and there are consequences. It's important that you do not tear each other apart constantly over this, but at the same time, accept that if crap happened, the cleaning up would stink at times.

As someone posted elsewhere, you live with the knowledge that at some point in time, someone supplanted you, pushed your H's buttons. You move on from that, but the memories and fears are real.

Be patient and kind and allow for backslides on both your parts .

(I also had a sort of a difficult situation myself (it's boxing day lunch time here now). Might post it in my thread later perhaps).

EDIT: and not to mnetion, even in the best of situations, H is still dealing with the emotional fallout and breaking of connection over the A. It's gonna try the both of you for soem time ...