Today has been a little harder than I thought it would be. No blow ups or anything, but it is difficult being around my W and "pretending" all is well, when everyone knows it isn't. Her parents are no different than in years past - what are they supposed to do really? Can't blame them, and I'm sure this isn't the easiest for them either.
Oopened presents with the kids, W and in-laws this morning. I bought several nice cast iron cake molds for W (she is BIG into cake baking and decorating) - all these presents were from the kids. I got a set of basting brushes. WTF? Not to sound unappreciative, but, dam*, maybe something a little more than an impulse buy you saw waiting in line at a hardware store. No matter, today isn't about that anyway.
W's step brother and his GF came by this afternoon. I spent most of my time outside to give them space (and me space) and to cook the turkey. When they were getting ready to leave, W's brother's GF made a point to walk across the room to me and gave me a big hug. I let go when you normally would, but she didn't. She told me she and W's brother (who's W up and left him right before Christmas a few years ago) had been thinking about me "a lot." I told her thanks and made small talk with her. That small gesture out of nowhere and from someone I don't know very well, meant so much to me. Not that anyone can change what will happen, but just someone who says in essence, I understand and I feel for you is uplifting.
I don't have any bad feelings for my anyone in my W's family, but for the first time since we were M'd, I really missed being around some of MY family (apart from my kids). I was talking to one of my uncles today, and he said he wished I could have been with them (about 4 hours away). I told him I knew that next year, no matter what, things would be better. And they will.
It has been a difficult, but not impossible, day. Right now, I just want to get all of the hard stuff done so I can get on with my life. Sorry guys. I don't mean to sound negative - I'm not.
