WAW is going on an extended trip on 12/27. Her lawyer sent a letter to The Mouthpiece asking that there be a coming-to-agreement before 1/1/10, so that everything she pays the SP house is tax-deductible. She's had 313 days to make an offer, but as of an hour ago proposed nothing.
So.
Today we sent our settlement proposal to her lawyer. Would have preferred to avoid doing it pre-Xmas myself, but with Herself going out of town the day after....
And then, of course, I had to run into her today at the mall. Nice.
How festive; Santa Claus brought her a divorce. Even I'm not cold-blooded enough to get a kick out of that. I know I shouldn't, but I feel like a 10 pounds of sh*t stuffed in a 5-pound bag.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
The last time I had a meal on December 25 without WAW being involved was 1986.
Just the kids and I, trying to make a holiday of it. I had them for 2 hours yesterday and will have them a total of about 5 hours today.
And for whatever reason, WAW has decided to turn the B*tchometer to 11 -- apparently there's only enough (her words) "bliss" in the world ("I just can't stop smiling") when she's not only "taking back my life, my body, my name, my True Self and True Happiness" but also doing everything possible to serve up an extra dose of holiday misery for Smiley's Person Himself -- "you owe me money! I want half of that electrician's bill -- now!"
The last time I had a meal on December 25 without WAW being involved was 1986.
Just the kids and I, trying to make a holiday of it. I had them for 2 hours yesterday and will have them a total of about 5 hours today.
And for whatever reason, WAW has decided to turn the B*tchometer to 11 -- apparently there's only enough (her words) "bliss" in the world ("I just can't stop smiling") when she's not only "taking back my life, my body, my name, my True Self and True Happiness" but also doing everything possible to serve up an extra dose of holiday misery for Smiley's Person Himself -- "you owe me money! I want half of that electrician's bill -- now!"
Fa-la-frickin'-la.
I notice a bit of a trend on her part based on the last few posts you entered here, there seems to be an urgency to alot of things she's doing that involve you, it has to be now, it's last minute stuff, there's a rush to all of it, I wonder what's up with her, why does it have to be now? Plus if she's taking a trip, I'm assuming she has cash to do so, why does she need half the bill now? Plus as you put it, she turned up the bitch-o-meter to 11.
I would just tell her "NO, you don't get to demand anything from me anymore, if it's that important speak to your lawyer about it...."
- and that would be it.
If you keep submitting to every request and command, she is still running over you, stop allowing that.
Smiley I've never posted to you before, but I've followed your thread as a fan of your writing style. I drank a Phucket® brand beer this evening. I suggest you do the same...and take her to the cleaners.
You not only have to worry about your own well being, but that of themselves. You are the better parent (you know this to be true). She should pay a premium to have her children raised by a true mensch. Listen to RobX. Let her be a grown-up.
Just when I thought it couldn't suck more, there was more. More suck than I could embrace, anyway. When the kids walked out that door just after our Christmas brunch... I wanted to die. I busied myself with tidying up, breaking down boxes, etc., and indulged in a hysterical weeping snotfest. At that moment anything was in the mix -- I'd have shot Signore Schmuckatelli in the f*cking head if I'd had the opportunity. I'm not sure I wouldn't have shot WAW. Stuck in Folsom Prison? No problem. That's how empty and bleak it was.
@robx -- you're right; this whole thing has been a rush. But the funny thing, it hasn't been -- it's all generated, like so much else about my myriad "failures" as H -- in her head. She drops the bomb -- a week later, "Name your price! Let's get this settled!" (even though you have to wait 6 months in Coastal State anyway). Then months of nothing, and all of a sudden she "has to" file -- "I have to get a mortgage! Now!" Then months of nothing, and all of a sudden she "has to" move out earlier than planned -- "I can't breathe! I have to be free now!" When we were going to Fab MC#2, the plan was to go stepwise, slowly, work each thing out, make it solid -- then all of a sudden we have to drop everything and reconcile [because Signore had dumped her, but she got over that], "You have to decide NOW!"
If D was so important to her, she's been in a position to make a settlement offer every single day since Jan 31. Nothing. Now, because she's going on a f*ckfest vacation and "do[es]n't want to be interrupted by your cr*p!", it's all now-now-now.
It's MLC, I'm sure of it -- the only thing that exists for her at any point time is whatever's at the top of her head.
@nutfarmer -- thanks for the props. I drank a Whisky-brand bottle of whisky, made myself a filet mignon with a fresh herb salad and a dozen fresh jumbo prawns, watched "The Great Escape", got slowly and quietly drunk, and fell asleep on the sofa. Today, headachey, I took a bunch of elbow shots to the ribs by aggressive She-Moms at the after-Christmas sales and bought Themselves a bunch of new clothes.
I'm sorry, SP. I soooo get the "too much suck to embrace." That
Quote:
hysterical weeping snotfest
is a place we've all been, every damn one of us. It has to happen, and it's sometimes the only logical response to having no control of our lives and watching it all crash and burn.
Here's the thing. You need to decide what you want to do, and go with it. You need to gain some control of your life back for your own sanity; as you described the insanity of the past year, it's all been at the whim of her need to punish you for god-knows-what. And punish she has, and taking no prisoners either. Decide what you want and do it. That's the kind of man you are--strong, intelligent, a leader. So do it. Believe it or not--she's waiting for it. Either way. But that's not your motivation. Your motivation is taking care of what you need and what Themselves need--and whichever way it goes, you all need for this suckfest to END.
I used to be a flight nurse, doing medevac in a helicopter. The very first thing they taught us is never to forget how dangerous the tail rotor is. You can't see it when it's in motion, and you get comfortable and you can forget about it and--then you get shredded. Well, SP, you keep walking into that tail rotor. You're getting shredded. Step Away from the Tail Rotor, grab the reins, and go with it.
M60 H52 D20 M14 yrs OW-old gf from 1986 bomb-5/18/08 H filed for D-9/10/08 D final 4/24/09 xH remarried (not OW) 2012
No worries about the tail rotor, @hoosiermama. Many years in Army Aviation.
You have to understand that a great deal of this argle-bargle from WAW comes right out of left field. It's like that 16-ton weight in Monty Python. This is why I'm increasingly convinced that WAW is mired in MLC -- there's no rhyme or reason, there's no chronology, to anything she does. It's all right there, on the surface, top-of-the-head kind of stuff -- no sense of impact, consequence, any of it.
Example: When Themselves went to their mother's house on Christmas Day (as later related to me by Girl-Child Herself), Girl-Child told WAW that she, Girl-Child, was worried that "Daddy will be sad for Christmas."
WAW's reply, per Themselves, was: "Well, I would have invited him but he acts too uncomfortable around me."
Okay. First of all, nice job validating the child's feelings. Way to go.
Second of all, what the f*ck? You would have invited me? Divorce not finalized, your parents and siblings in attendance? Yeah, that wouldn't have been too awkward.
Third of all, what the f*ck? You take a child's expression of concern for a parent and turn it into an indictment of the parent -- "don't blame me, it's him."
