Newmama, I really have not been communicating except for the bills, and the 2 little emails (since October)
but I am shattered right now-I emailed X's mom to see if he was here in town on Xmas eve so I could feel safe going out to the bar last night. Which I did, and was glad I did so.
But his mom just emailed back that they left on Tuesday (my birthday) to fly to Chicago (her family) and then will go visit her in AZ for a long weekend.
Everyone--X has a very difficult relationship with his mom. She is not very pleasant, and hard to introduce sig others to--just because he is awkward and embarrassed around her, and she can be awkward.
HOW SERIOUS is this!!! he goes to her fam AND his mom for Xmas. This is no flash in the pan. this is real.
Well, I shouldn't ask for information if I can't handle it. Now I am weeping and sobbing on the floor. Guess that feeling of detachment I had on Monday is out the window.
X's mom is on my side, but of course she will be polite and of course wants her son to be happy no matter what.
But I have just knocked myself a 2x10 to the head, and am just crumpled up with renewed grief.
5 LL--whatever! Clearly the OW speaks his LL clearly enough.
I thought there might be some shred of hope because at our last bill paying it was a total turn around from the first--he initiated conversation, and at the end, introduced another topic--prolonging the contact.
But maybe that's just him relaxing as the guilt and uncertainty fades, and he settles happily into his new life.
Sorry to be a drag on Xmas, everyone.
Back to the kleenex---
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
