My H's response was ambiguous and it's making me edgy. Here's what he said:
"holy crap......wow uhhh not sure what to say there."
What the hell does that mean??
I mean, the whole point of doing a 180 is to change the results. My husband has never really liked dealing with my constant complaining about his mom. He can't stand her; he hates talking to her.
I identified my "more of the same" behavior as allowing my MIL to do something I consider wrong and then say nothing. I would then fume about it, whine to my H, probably get so mad I would cry, and he would take no action.
So I changed my approach. I don't feel wrong about the message I sent them, nor even how I sent it. I think I was right. But I'm sort of scared not knowing or understanding my H's response. What if he doesn't back me up? Giving myself permission to speak up felt good, and I was proud of myself. I expected some negative feedback (on here), and boy did I ever get it. But they managed to sow some doubts. Like I said, not about what I did, just about what he is thinking and/or how he will respond.
LOL, I hope to stay dark with them. I don't like the contact. But I felt like it was time. If I am going to take back my life it has to start with the hardest part. And for me that is never fighting my own battles.
No, I'm not ready. My SIL and niece are here. I am being polite but firm. I won't have it out with her for my mom's sake (high BP, risk of early heart attack, serious anxiety problems). But I also am continuing to assert my own self-worth. Believe it or not I have the ability to say "no" and to not do things I don't want to. Who knew?
The gifts are wrapped, all the food is prepped, and I am still trying to figure out how to make it through the day. My H doesn't like holidays. He ignores them, and us. So another 180. He always says he wants nothing as a gift. Then every year I go out of my way to find him something creative and unique. So this year I got him what he asked for...nothing. My parents insisted (got him a subscription to his favorite magazine), but not me. And I'm worried about that too. Which is worse, if he's hurt that I didn't get him anything? Or if he simply doesn't care? I hate not knowing...
I won't call him tomorrow. But I admit to this tiny sliver of hope that he will call us. And then I want to mentally shake myself for it. Like I need to set myself up for disappointment.
I'm hoping to get an invite to the DB Xmas group still.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
What the hell does that mean??
