I've been keeping busy. I took S to a Christmas Eve church service with some neighbors today. Weird to go do stuff like this w/o W. Still, I have to keep moving on with my GAL efforts.
S is here at home with me tonight. W is sitting alone in her new place tonight. (I think she's alone at least) She was here to drop off S earlier. She's still a robot. I had a friend over. After she left he was like "what the hell was that?" You'd think we were good buddies when she talks. I think I'd rather have there be some overt uncomfortableness between us when we talk. At least it would feel honest.
I've kept it pretty distant this past month since she's been gone. On occasion she has brought up something rom our past and spoke about it like as if things were normal between us. I wonder so often if she feels ANYTHING. Out of nowhere last night she sent me a "Good night. Have good dreams," text. I responded a simple "thanks. U 2." Honestly, my initial reaction was a bit of a 'screw you.' I have been fighting serious resentment.
Tonigt I sent her a "Good night, Merry almost-Christmas" message. She responded and said that it made her cry.
It's strange to handle buying presents, wrapping them, putting out Santa cookies and presents under the tree all without the wife. I am holding up OK though. I still wand Christmas to be as good as possible for S.
I think W wanted to to Christmas morning all together. She hinted, but didn't actually ask. I wasn't really open to the idea. I have S in the morning, she has him for the rest of the day tomorrow. They're heading up to the old home town to see her family tomorrow afternoon. Ill head up to see my parents on Saturday.
Its all still a little strange. As Coach says though, I can handle it. I honestly feel sad for W at this point.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
