I firmly believe that I will be in a much better place after my return in March. Between now and then, I have to work on my happiness and find my way.
Once I am back for good, and the legal stuff is going on, I would like to think I will be ready to move on.
Just gotta get busy gettin' busy, and worry about what is within my control, and work on making myself feel better about ME for a change.
Don't know if I recommended a book to you that Coach referred to me - "Learned Optimism" by Martin Seligman. Made a big difference for me. Deals with a concept Seligman termed "learned helplessness" and how that leads to depression. It helps to see how you can change your emotions simply by changing your thoughts. Take a look at Cognitive Dissonance and Cognitive Distortion on wikipedia.
Everyone here has an extremely bruised and batterred self-esteem, we men especially.
Why the men, especially?
Not meant as a criticism of the women. IMO, we men have a pretty fragile ego. While we tend to act tough on the outside (that's the way our Dads taught us men behave), it takes little to bruise our egos.
I've seen many a woman who hops from R to R because she needs the reassurance of a partner.
I agree we handle it differently, but speaking as a people watcher, I don't know that self-reliant is how I would describe it.
As for compliments, there's not a person on this board who doesn't deserve some. For sticking to their convictions, upholding their promises, and doing the soul searching of self-improvement!!!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I've seen many a woman who hops from R to R because she needs the reassurance of a partner.
I agree we handle it differently, but speaking as a people watcher, I don't know that self-reliant is how I would describe it.
As for compliments, there's not a person on this board who doesn't deserve some. For sticking to their convictions, upholding their promises, and doing the soul searching of self-improvement!!!
No doubt there.
I probably did not do a good job describing what I'm getting at.
I think of an instance where a guy is trying to pick up a girl. You guys see through most of the BS most guys try. Men, on the other hand, tend to be much more likely to believe a woman who is complimenting him. We just tend to fall for that much more than women.
No question men and women need to be shown they are loved and worthy of it.
Lol. I'm mostly just giving you crap. I've spent more than six years hanging around a bunch of Army guys, so I'm used to dealing with the guy talk and banter. I'm also pretty good at translating.
I think women tend to rely on their female friends for some of that ego boost/compliments. Because of that, the ego boost tends to be a little more spread out, and perhaps more long-lasting because of that. Women also are generally are better at asking for support, while men pretend everything is fine, thus no one realizes they need a pick me up.
Funny how you don't get what you never ask for.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
I've spent more than six years hanging around a bunch of Army guys, so I'm used to dealing with the guy talk and banter. I'm also pretty good at translating. 