Hi Rob, I'm a little late to the fray. Here's what I have to say about the sitch: You are asking your wife to separate the ashes from the lentils of her life. She is forced to sit by the fire and take inventory. She brings the lentils picked from the ashes to you and hopes for admittance to the ball. Only the wicked stepmother is cruel enough to force someone to do this. Aschenputtel (the Grimm forerunner of Cinderella) is an allegory for taking stock of our lives. It is a task that your W just can't face.
I'm not saying that you don't need or deserve this information. I'm just saying that this is possibly more than she can bear.
You might make a spreadsheet for her Name EA/PANI/PA Month on-month done Info I need
I need to know names, EA or PA (w or w/o Intercourse), dates, and anything I need for social interaction (we jeopardized jobs, friends etc.) That way she knows what is expected. The interrogation won't be endless. After one year of transparency (reconciliation or not) the spreadsheet will be ritually burned along with any conversation about the matter. If there are any lies, even one, it's a dealbreaker....
It's an idea. Merry christmas, I'm off to wrap the last.
