Thanks H4U and Rabbit, I hope you both have a wonderful Christmas as well. H4U, thanks so much for your input. It is very helpful. I know I will likely have many more triggers over the next few days. I already have been throughout the day. All the things that have been traditional in our family, just doing them, makes me emotional wondering what it would have been like if things hadn't turned around like they did a few short weeks ago. It is such an odd experience... the extreme gratitude that he is here with us, fully part of things just like the past 19 years.... then combined with the waves of intense anger and hurt that wash over me that make me want to kick him out any minute. *sigh* I know it will get better. It is something that will always be with us.
Anyway, he is here and the kids are so happy, and it is a day to celebrate,which is what I am going to do. So, as I fill my third rum and eggnong.... cheers and Christmas blessings to you all! Rocked
