Divorcebusting.com  |  Contact      
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 107 of 144 1 2 105 106 107 108 109 143 144
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
Coach~

Thank you for coming so quickly on Christmas Eve...

I could barely breathe when I saw the email...

I haven't answered him yet because there are some things I want to make sure he does while the boys are there...

I need him to stop telling our little one he will be home soon...

I need him to sit them both down and tell them he (not us - as he is prone to do) has decided he is done and this is the way it is going to be.

I don't want her just "stopping by" either - I don't want neither of the boys to even breathe the same air as her.

I know you are right about them telling me so I am not to worried about that...

I am worried he may not bring them back however I will work through that.


May All Who Seek To Take My Life
Be Put To Shame And Confusion;
May All Who Desire My Ruin
Be Turned Back In Disgrace.
~Psalm 40:14~
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
After he agrees to your plan make sure you have it written in a e-mail. Don't let it be a verbal agreement.

Be very clear about your boundaries, you deserve to be treated with respect and honor. This is a gift you give yourself.
Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
Here is my email (nothing verbal for me anymore lol) Coach - If you think anything needs to be changed, please feel free...

Dear H.

I will agree to both boys coming to your place for the following days 12/29-09-01/01/10. I will make sure they are packed and ready to go on 12/29/09 by 11am, I want them brought back to my house on 01/01/10 no later then 4pm.

Oldest S as you know is on probabtion so he is not to be unsupervised at anytime. His curfew is 8pm and he has to be indoors at that time.

If this is something you are wanting to start, then I request consistancy on your part. I don't want you to see them and then go another 6 months before it happens again. You are off on Sundays so if you would like to pick them up for a movie or dinner, we can work that out.

Under no circumstances is OW to be anywhere around them at anytime they are in your care. I would expect you to use this time having fun with your boys, not spending the day on your phone talking and texting her while they entertain themselves.

Serenity


May All Who Seek To Take My Life
Be Put To Shame And Confusion;
May All Who Desire My Ruin
Be Turned Back In Disgrace.
~Psalm 40:14~
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 5,299
Quote:
Dear H.

I will agree to both boys coming to your place for the following days 12/29-09-01/01/10. I will make sure they are packed and ready to go on 12/29/09 by 11am, I want them brought back to my house on 01/01/10 no later then 4pm.

Oldest S as you know is on probabtion so he is not to be unsupervised at anytime. His curfew is 8pm and he has to be indoors at that time.

If this seeing the boys on a regular basis is something you are wanting to start, then I request consistancy on your part. I don't want you to see them and then go another 6 months before it happens again. Only seeing the boys once every 6 months is damaging to the boys and detrimental to any realtionship you might want to have with them You are off on Sundays so if you would like to pick them up for a movie or dinner, we can work that out.

Under no circumstances is OW to be anywhere around them at anytime they are in your care. As long as we are married I will not tolerate any contact with the boys and her. If you want to see the boys then this is your choice.I would expect you to use this time having fun with your boys, not spending the day on your phone talking and texting her while they entertain themselves.

Serenity
_________________________


I have to run, I will check in later. You are doing fine. Do you notice he is acknowledging your boundary? You will believe it when you see it but right now go with the understanding of good intentions. If he follows you boundary let him know you appreciate it.

Cheers


M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12
Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
Coach~

I like your version better and will send it as is...Thank you again for giving me your time. smile

I do notice and once all is said and done, I will let him know that I appreciate it...

Quick (maybe dumb) question - By him doing this does this mean our marriage is done for good?


May All Who Seek To Take My Life
Be Put To Shame And Confusion;
May All Who Desire My Ruin
Be Turned Back In Disgrace.
~Psalm 40:14~
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,757
C
Member
Offline
Member
C
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,757
Originally Posted By: Serenity13
Coach~

I like your version better and will send it as is...Thank you again for giving me your time. smile

I do notice and once all is said and done, I will let him know that I appreciate it...

Quick (maybe dumb) question - By him doing this does this mean our marriage is done for good?


Don't read minds. What happens in the future happens.

And take care Serenity. smile

And Coach. Thank you. You sir are a good man.


Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul.
unconditional love is awesome!
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
Cutter...

Thank you for the reminder smile

You take as well.

(((Hugs)))


May All Who Seek To Take My Life
Be Put To Shame And Confusion;
May All Who Desire My Ruin
Be Turned Back In Disgrace.
~Psalm 40:14~
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
S
Member
OP Offline
Member
S
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,983
Sent the email as Coach revised...

Never received an answer back though H did text older S asking him what they eat for food and snacks?

Seriously???

5 months and he no longer knows how to care for his kids?

Makes me question what I am doing letting them go. crazy


May All Who Seek To Take My Life
Be Put To Shame And Confusion;
May All Who Desire My Ruin
Be Turned Back In Disgrace.
~Psalm 40:14~
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 154
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 154
Originally Posted By: TrentC
Rick Warren: Love is a habit

I like because it reminds me of one of my favorite comics:

http://www.vachss.com/mission/behavior.html


Nice, Trent.


H: 50
W: 48
Married 20 years
Bomb and separation: 9/12/09
A discovered 12/02/09
http://tinyurl.com/yctnhec
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 3,831
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jun 2009
Posts: 3,831
Serenity,
Originally Posted By: Serenity13
I deserve to be loved the way I love...

I deserve to be cherished the way I cherish...

I deserve to be honored the way I honor...

I want these things in my life and now looking back I realize I haven't had them in a very long time.
And some day a sweetheart like you will have all these, of this I have no doubt.
Merry Christmas. And thank you.

(Inner) Peace,
Gardener


Gardener

"My soul, be satisfied with flowers,
With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them
In the one garden you may call your own."
Cyrano deBergerac


Page 107 of 144 1 2 105 106 107 108 109 143 144

Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Michele Weiner-Davis Training Corp. 1996-2025. All rights reserved.
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5