Geo. Detachment does not mean avoidance. Detachment means you are separate from the outcome. It means you are not controlled by every action your W takes. It means you are fully capable of living your own life regardless of what your W decides to do with hers.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
You said she was separating to get space and see if she misses you. She won't if you're still contacting her. Give her the space she asked for. If you don't, you'll push her further away.
She wouldn't need her "own" space if she were planning a career change.
The only reason (ok this is a generalization but it's happened way too many times on these forums and elsewhere for this to be coincidental) she wants her own space is so that she can have sex with another man/other men and make sure you're not there when this is happening.
She isn't doing this to find out if she "misses" you, don't ever be naive to believe that.
I wouldn't go to MC at this point in time. Its just a waste of money and will be used and excuse by her later. i.e. "You see, I tried... I did try... but things didn't work out... blah blah blah..."
Don't give her ammunition. She wants out and wants her space... then give it to her in spades.
- Fly to the edge of the universe and enter a black hole. (i.e. your only communication with her should be about your son and only your son. - Get a freakin' life. Become a party animal. Have FUN, FUN, FUN. - Get her to take care of your son when you think its most inconvenient for her. - Communicate indirectly (via her informants) that you're moving on and having a ball. - Pull the rug out from under her feet. ---- Cut off all the financial benefits she enjoys from you. ---- Cut off all emotional benefits she gets from you (supportive, patient, listening, compassion etc)
I wouldn't go to MC at this point in time. Its just a waste of money and will be used and excuse by her later. i.e. "You see, I tried... I did try... but things didn't work out... blah blah blah..."
Don't give her ammunition. She wants out and wants her space... then give it to her in spades.
- Fly to the edge of the universe and enter a black hole. (i.e. your only communication with her should be about your son and only your son. - Get a freakin' life. Become a party animal. Have FUN, FUN, FUN. - Get her to take care of your son when you think its most inconvenient for her. - Communicate indirectly (via her informants) that you're moving on and having a ball. - Pull the rug out from under her feet. ---- Cut off all the financial benefits she enjoys from you. ---- Cut off all emotional benefits she gets from you (supportive, patient, listening, compassion etc)
LISTEN to this! great advice
M44 H41 M20 T23 3 older teens Bomb Nov 09 "i'm not happy" EA Nov 09 w/coworker Another PA in Mar 10 I Filed Apr 10 D final Dec 10
When you went to the first session you said it was good. Did she commit to being married to you? You can go to the sessions but if she will not commit to the marriage GNO is correct.
The MC was good as in I got to see how she was feeling, and also bad as in I got to see how she is feeling. She did hint later on that she might be going just to ease my pain. I guess I should leave it to her to decide if she wants to commit, then she can initiate the MC. Until then I should get a life. Trying not to think about OM though, maybe I am naive. Are they any situations where the WAW doesn't see OM?
- if you are all sitting together with your children and eating a meal, be respectful of your children and bite your tongue.
- if you're just alone together and she does something to piss you off, don't bite your tongue, let her know that her crap behavior is not appreciated or wanted.
- is she still seeing the OM? If so, kick her ass out of the house. tell her she can live with him if she wants because she isn't going to enjoy the benefit of living with you while that crap is going on!
- if you are all sitting together with your children and eating a meal, be respectful of your children and bite your tongue.
- if you're just alone together and she does something to piss you off, don't bite your tongue, let her know that her crap behavior is not appreciated or wanted.
- is she still seeing the OM? If so, kick her ass out of the house. tell her she can live with him if she wants because she isn't going to enjoy the benefit of living with you while that crap is going on!
