She is still not planning on taking the trip with me, I am absolutely surprised that she has not asked what reason I am going to give for why she is not with me. She ordered my parents a gift last night and told me that it won't make it in time for Christmas but to let them know it's coming.
I am starting to get a little paranoid that a bomb is going to drop after the holidays. She said something the other day about needing to change her direct deposits and my mind has been running wild wondering if she is going to stop depositing in our joint accounts.
We are set for our Christmas before I leave we both have gifts for each other and our dogs. She is planning on cooking something nice tonight too.
The fact that nothing is happening to move things in either direction is starting to take a toll on me. 2009 has been the worst year of my life, and with 2010 approaching, I really feel like this year has to improve. To that end, is there anything that I should do or say to communicate to her that we can't continue in limbo? I brought up MC after the confrontation and while she didn't say sure let's go, she also didn't say she wouldn't either. I have found a M friendly MC and may start attending solo in the new year. I was thinking something along the lines of letting her know that I am going to continue focusing on personal growth and that I am still open to her taking this journey together if she is willing to give 100% to it. I would tell her that I am planning on starting MC and she can join anytime she wants...her choice, no pressure.
Our communication about R stuff has always been terrible, she is a serious avoider and I have been Nice Guy who has been afraid of relationship conflict. Poor communication got us to this place and it just seems that improved communication is the only thing that is going to move this sitch forward.
So a quick straw poll, for a limboland dweller, is it better to GAL and continue to detach or is it better to try to open the lines of communication while still GAL and detaching? I know strict DB says no R talks but I am feeling that my W is really incapable of dealing with her personal issues in a straightforward way.
I also think I at least need to have a consult with a L to understand what I need to do to protect myself and what the D process looks like in my state. I guess it never hurts to educate oneself about this when in this situation. I have no new intel about OM since the confrontation and I am wondering if I should dig again to find out if they are still seeing each other.
