NC - W vanished ...

[avermont]

Hey cutter and newmama--

Thanks for the invite over to infidelity land. Not the place that anyone wants to be!

I'm looking for your threads on LL, but can't find it. I do have the book, and as I have a bazillion hours of travel between here and my sister in NM, I will have read every book recommended on this site by the time I get back.

Yes, sometimes these boards are too hard. I spend a lot of time here; sometimes it is supportive; other times I get more depressed.

Still struggling with the proper 180, as you know. We are NC just because that's how it is...neither has anything to say to each other.

I went with cutter's advice to not contact X about going away over the holidays. I contacted the tenants and told them to be sure to call the service men/contractors in case of emergency. And I called the servicemen/contractors and told them to handle all emergencies. Didn't even list X's phone # on the contact info.

I am out and about and busy, and even beginning to have a morsel of fun while doing things. (instead of just slogging through them in a depressed but I'm doing this sort of way)

I'm supposed to go to the bar tonight with a friend from rescue, but am still too freaked out that X and OW will go there tonight. Have GOT to get past that.

Also--I feel like this isn't an "affair." I feel like he left one relationship and entered another. I am just off the books, gone away, of no account. So, other than doing the DB things FOR MYSELF, I feel like there is no DB to be doing that would R the the relationship.

But--you all have families and Christmas traditions that are upended and very very hard to get through right now, and my problems are pretty minimal compared to that.

So to all of you with children and Christmas--I wish you all the peace and blessings you can find at this difficult time.

Next Christmas will be better.