I like your thoughts River. Those steps i through ix are true, never thought about it that way.
What is she scared of? I think she's scared of being abandoned like she feels MIL did to her. She's also very scared of making FIL mad or unhappy. She's really scared of anyone in authority, or inconveniencing anyone. One of the books I read described her as the "good girl", who can intuitively sense tension in a room and move to alleviate it. She'll sacrifice her personal health before inconveniencing anyone else.
Me: 30 W: 28 T 8, M 6 S: 7-27-2007 W filed (again) 3-2011 Served 8-2011 Responded, now dark "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear" MLK