feel like giving up - talk to me!

[S.T. _I Made It!]

I'm really excited to hear all of the progress! really luv, there are people that have a goal of their H/W just looking at them! that was actually one of my goals.

If you can do it, I would really like for you to not do R talks, like you have unless he brings it up, and try really hard to only listen. you will have other chances in the future to share your hurts, and if you do more back-n-forth stuff, he won't feel that your listening to him...just like you feel he's not listening to you.

when he talks bad about himself, be careful how you validate...like when he said "I've been a bad husband"... I think what G said is good, about you saying you've been a B too..instead of just agreeing with him that he sucks and pretending you don't. (that's how it came across) I would add that it's hard to be loving towards someone when you feel hurt by them. I really want to understand how I've hurt you.

hey luv, I may not be on as much...at my moms house in wichita now and her computer is slow, but I want to tell you you've got lots and lots of good things happening!

just try to remember to validate his hurt, and without doing the back-n-forth thing saying, well I did that because you did this. because you could go back and back and back until you have no idea who started it all. when your able to let him feel that you understand his hurt and that you are open to his feelings without blaming reasons on him, then it will be easier for you to share your own feelings and hurts and help him understand the things he does that hurt you.

fyi, him learning this "i don't wanna lie anymore". that's not a bad thing. that's good. he's not happy, and because he's talking to you, that means he's trying to do something about it. he could do the opposite and just walk away. and for him to read these books is amazing anyways. he's going to get more out of it than you realize IMHO. and the 5 love language, is really good, you both need to read that.

what books are you reading?? I've only heard what he is reading, so unless I missed one of your posts, please let us know.