I find it nearly impossible to read the newbies stories or help out there. It makes my blood boil or makes me horribly upset. I'm no help to them if my mind goes to dark places. Someday I'll be able to help, but not until my thoughts are under control. You seem to be experiencing the same thing.
Definitely keep posting re: your sitch but try to steer clear of the newbies for now, it brings too much of your past to the forefront which won't help your piecing.
T19 M15 S19 XH47 M43 bomb12/4/07 PA5/07 S12/26/07 D final 11/17/08 Back together with no defined R 05/2010 confused....to say the least!!!