I only think you can do then if/when she says "I really want us to reconcile, and I'm willing to do what it takes -- what can I do?" That sort of thing. Otherwise you just come across as trying to "fix" her.
I just think it's your overall tone and demeanor toward her. It's one thing to remain civil, and courteous, but your descriptions of your interactions just seem so . . . so . . . supplicating. That's the only word I can think of.
