Originally Posted By: iwantittowork
Hey Ant,

Quote:
Just trying to get used to the finality of it, and dealing with the thoughts of me being by myself for a long time,


This is where mindfulness and Learned Optimism can help you.

Couple ways I look at thoughts like these, as we all have them, especially us LBS.

1) Ultimately, we are always alone, we share our experience with others, and would like to share it with people we love, but we create a 'reality' and image of people that is our interpretation of someone. You can never truly be or know anyone but yourself. That's evident in our sitch's where we thought we new everything about our spouses, but we didn't. Thinking about that, it seems kind of 'heavy' but that has helped me in grappling with the reality of where we are.

2) Your thoughts like these are just thoughts, they are NOT reality, they exist only in your mind. You can not predict the future, so how do you know you will be by yourself for a long time? You can't.

Quote:
They may be irrational thoughts, but right now they are the kind of thoughts I'm having.


Just thoughts. Accept them as they come, and let them pass through, or you'll stay stuck here.

Repeat:

You can not change the past.

You can not predict the future.

You exist only in the present. Stay in the present.





Hey iwantittowork.

I appreciate your posts. I didn't want this awful stuff that I've been dealing with, but it's what I got. I'm trying to handle it the best I can, and I'm learning as I go. I want to be strong, love my kids, and get through this with strength, honor, and dignity...and compassion. Compassion for MYSELF as well as others.


"Always go straight forward, and if you meet the devil, cut him in two and go between the pieces." - William Sturgis, clipper ship captain, 1830's.