Women with HD...is it true or just situational?

[TeaEarlGreyHot]

TeaEarlGreyHot, sounds like your answer is also yes. But at the same time, you paint a picture of women as being interested in sex for some years, and then losing all interest as a result of hormonal changes, which we all know often result from childbirth or menopause.

Didn't you get the memo?

That's our fault.

It's something that "we" did, that "we" have control over, something that we can (and should) fix if only we would just do what we know needs to be done...all would be right with our world.

Superimpose all those earlier experiences of our wives/lovers on the mix (including hormonal changes) and it gets weird.

True in both of my marriages. Is it just so common that nobody really talks about it? Is what "we" experience the normal condition and what we seek, what the books sell us as being desirable what is abnormal?

As I've written before, my first wife realized sometime after she left and divorced me, married her younger lover from her affair and got pregnant again, that those same feelings that she had about me, that justified her actions, were there once again for her newer husband. She was headed down the same path (again) with him as she had with me (light bulb moment for her).

What I did not know prior to that time or at any time during our marriage was a complete picture of what happened before she and I met. It all mixes together and sometimes in a weird and toxic way. It turned out that "I" was one affair that completed the breakdown of her engagement to someone else in 1973 even though I insisted, at the time, that if there was unfinished business between her former boyfriend and her, I would not be involved with her. I was not the trigger in that situation, someone else was.

But it took 24 years for her to reveal that to me, to allow me to know that.

Do any of us really have a complete picture? Do any of us really give a complete picture?