The second thing we discussed was what I want. I want to get rid of hope. Hope that the M can be recovered. I want to let go completely of the M and move on with my life. I see no hope for the M being continued. Bridges are being burned. W is doing things I never thought she was capable of. She is cold, heartless, uncaring, selfish and cowardly. That woman I don't love. The woman I did love has gone.
She cant undo what has be done. You have to ask yourself if cheating is a dealbreaker. I thought for sure there was no way I would stay with someone who cheated. But when it really happens to you all the rules change. How it impacts your finances, your child's life etc. all change the equation that once was just so simple. If cheating was a absolute dealbreaker for you then you wouldnt be posting on a message board aimed towards saving your marriage, would you?
Originally Posted By: P17
It was for revenge. I want W and OM to break up and for her to feel the way I feel. I want to be able to say I told you so, stick two fingers up and be vindicated that she was wrong for what she did. If I read W correctly (and I could be well off the mark) she is going out of her way to hurt me. The things she is doing, saying and posting on FB don't really make much sense to me other than to hurt me. This is a game, and without relaising it (and advising others not to do it) I'm playing it and rolling the dice too. I'm going out of my way to hurt her. This isn't right and simply cannot finish with any good results.
The one you trusted most in your life screwed you over. I think the thought of revenge is only natural. It is still very early in your situation but right now you have centered this whole experience about her. "I want her to feel how I feel", "What is she thinking", "How will she react"? That is why your goal now is to detach. She doesnt even know what she is thinking right now, so then how in the world are you supposed to figure it out when she cant? I hate to burst your bubble but I will come right out and say it, I dont think your wife is doing things to intentionally hurt you. I dont think your wife is giving you much thought at all right now. I think she is doing something that is so out of character for her that she is trying to justify why it is ok for "someone like her" to be doing "what she is doing".
Originally Posted By: p17
I still maintain the opinion that W has her head up her a$$ and it may never come out of there. However, if it does, I don't want to be around.
No doubt she isnt thinking right. Either are you. That is why you should be having no contact(or I think very little contact) with her. Try to enjoy your Christmas P17. Try to turn off your mind for a few days and just enjoy spending time with your little one.
