Looking forward to hearing news of the arrival of the newest little Deep! :-)
I am just journaling here because I am having trouble sleeping. Not sure why. The holidays seem to be triggering a lot. H and I were having a nice evening together, a movie came on and it had a plot that involved an A. I got so triggered, it shocked me. I had to leave the room. I had a wave of emotion rush over me... Fortunately, it was time to pick up S15 at a friend's house so I took the long route and vented my feelings while driving. By the time I picked up S15 and then got home it had mostly passed. H knew, though, and asked how I was doing, and even looking for reassurances like, "you are still sticking with me right?" I said, "if you are good to me I will."
Anyway... the intensity of the trigger shocked me. I don't know if it is the holidays, or if this is just normal when our piecing is still so new.
Also - for people who have been piecing longer.. does that ever go away? Will i be triggered like that for ever? And, does the intensity of thinking about your WAS with someone else ever lessen? Sometimes it still shakes me to the core, I feel I can't breathe. I swear I am an emotionally and psychologically healthy person (my IC says so anyway... lol) but in those moments i seriously have thoughts that if I didn't have kids I don't know if I want to live. It passes... and of course I am NOT suicidal... please don't worry about me! But, the emotional pain is so excruciating sometimes you just don't want to face it anymore. Anyone else feel this?
OK... now I think I can sleep since I got that off my chest...
