I dont think that hes doing any of it intentionally. I think that is just the way that his path has gone- we are the ones who need coaching to detach, they seem to be experts at it!
I agree that a lot can change between now and then. You could always tell him that you are going to Japan if he brings the trip up, and he is welcome to come visit, but this is your trip. That might give you some more control over where things are going.
So are you reading a book written for someone who is going through a MLC, or written for that persons family? I think that the way that people move through life crises, mid-life or otherwise, is very similar, so regardless of exactly what is going on with your H, you should be able to get some good info from the book.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
