Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[newmama]

Cutter, thanks so much for your feedback! My WH also planned weekend getaways and trips for us! I did make an effort to plan weekend things but nothing major, visiting friends or going out to dinner. We fell into a routine many times. Last year, which is what is so puzzling, I totally found and planned lots of activities to do with him. Things were pickingup. He said he was ready to start a family. Perhaps it was too little too late since OW had started to work at his workplace and they had started to become friends-she had pursued pursued and I guess he gave in. ???

Mindfull, thanks for chiming in! I, too, wish I had some "single moms" to hang out with when WH is here. Maybe the moms from the single parent group would be interested. I found the group on meetup.com and there are groups all over the USA and the world.

I ended up not going to a movie. Was busy around the house and then ran errands, worked out,etc.

I gave WH his presents from us. He liked them and especially loved the I love Daddy picture frame with a photo of S. He went to the garage and came back with presents for me. As always, he was very thoughtful. One of the gifts was a stack of papers--I was thinking What the?
I opened them and they were print outs of different baby classes. He said that he wanted to pay for a class per month while I was at home with our S and found some but told me that he would be open to whatever classes I wanted. I was so touched!He also got me a very nice Cuisinart immersion blender.
I mentioned how I wanted one once, and, just like heis, he remembered.

I couldn't help but chuckle that he hid the present for me in the garage. Gee, couldn't keep it at your empty apartment? Or at OW's place? Guess she doesn't know. ha ha.

Today I managed to be pleasant and civil. He arrived with starbucks for me without asking me, even the size I like. He was sure to check with me as he did stuff with S to see if it fit the routine we usually follow. I told him he was doing a great job taking care of S and seemed to have it down. I could tell that compliment meant a lot to him because he puffed up his chest a little and got a proud look on his face!

Now, like I mentioned before, (or did I?) It does concern me that he has taken my demeanor to mean that I am totally fine with the coparenting situation and that it will all be okay if he divorces me. I want to think positive thoughts but it is so hard because I don't want to be devestated if he brings up divorce next month.

I do want to call my DB coach but don't know if I should save the last session for if he brings up D. I never asked what to say.

What about "Well, you know I don't want the divorce. I would rather be separated as you work things out instead of going through the divorce. Please only do this if you are 100% sure."
I WANT to say "you and I and everyone all know that your relationship with OW will not last. It is just a fact. Please don't throw away our marriage because you will totally regret it. I plan ondating and meeting someone special and you will be alone" Of course I CAN'T say that. But I fantasize about it.

I pray to God that things are rocky between them, that he is just trying to get through the holidays and that maybe as soon as next month he will come to his senses.