Here's the thing: she will have nothing if she continues on the way she is going. If he takes her back without full (who-where-when) disclosure, she will only be confirmed in her (as reported) conviction that no one will love her if they know who she really is, but she can get them to love the liar.
That's an agonizing way to live, there's an emptiness at the heart of everything. Rob would do her no favors by enabling that belief.
She has no guarantee, and I don't think that's unfair. How can he give her a preemptive guarantee that all will be forgiven when he knows the truth without knowing what that truth comprises?
She has the chance to break through to a better relationship than she ever imagined if she just is able to take a leap of faith here and stop trying to manage her image and others' perceptions. Even without guarantees, I think that's a risk worth taking. It could even be viewed as a gift.
I think SP has a point worth considering on the continuum-of-revelation. It seems like what you're mostly looking for is a symbolic commitment to honesty from her, yes? At first, I mean. Instead of the resistance you've been getting. If she surrendered on that point, would you think about some kind of schedule or process (in counseling, perhaps, as aforesaid) for progressive truth?
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
