My WAW caught at an early stage (I hope)

[narwhal]

Thanks Coach and dburt. I will set strong boundaries.

But help me out here - I'm having trouble seeing how best to do this given where we are right now:

- She's in a numb, shut-down, withdrawn state emotionally.
- My failing has been that I've been too withdrawn
- I'm trying to "focus on what works" as M W-D says. Have good times together to build up the emotional love account before pushing too hard on talking about the R.

So, when I picture Coach's boundary-setting conversation, I can see it going either of two ways, neither of which seems good:

1. W could say "well I'm not getting my emotional needs met in this marriage anyway, so I don't care" (background: she said that if it weren't for S4 she would have moved out)

2. W could get mad at me. I would handle this calmly and respectfully, firmly outlining the boundaries. This seems like it would sabotage my efforts to build a positive emotional balance.

So what's the deal? Is it that averting an A is so important that it trumps these other concerns?