Not Me...Ever part 2

[Serenity13]

(((Kara))) (((Deep))) (((Rocked))) (((Coach))) (((Trent)))

Thank you all for your support and kind words yesterday and last night...

I didn't speak to H last night though he sent me an email saying he had gotten busy (in case I called) and I could call him back then (I didn't)...

My sister took my older S for a ride last night - They went to the beach to talk because she was sick of the way he has been treating me...

He had no idea H only wanted to see him and not the little one (and we know how that ended)...

He was mad because I lie to him and it is easier for him to take out his anger on me because I am there (Ok which one of you told me that??)

They talked for over 3 hours and when they got back, it was like a different person had walked in...

We hugged etc...(as explained in my post above this)

He asked me why I lie to him about his Dad and I realized that I do it to keep H from looking like the bad guy...

I would rather take the heat then to have our children mad at him and what he is doing.

I would rather take the fall then to have my children know their Dad only wants to see one of them or chooses his mistress over both of them.

He understood however asked me to tell the truth no matter how painful it is to hear.

I haven't heard from H today (S has) though he told S we were still talking about whether he can go or not.

After our talk last night, I made some decisions...

First thing I did this morning was buy the book - Codependent No More and also a copy of The Language Of Letting Go (same author)...

I drove to the court house to file for custody as well as emergency child support only to find out that I can't file for custody without filing for divorce (and I am not there yet).

So that is where I am right at this moment -

I apologize to you all...I haven't visited your situations the last couple of days so I will get there shortly...

(((Hugs)))