Drawing a line and grabbing the seeds!

[sandi2]

So, can't you still love and stand back and watch.

Yes, I know what you mean. I do think when it comes to the love between a couple that the woman wants you to have a certain standard for the person you accept into your life. I would think it would go both ways, but I can't answer for men.

If the hurt person refuses to go and do the work in therapy and is just a lump feeling sorry for themselves would you go the extra mile for them

I have had to experience that with one of my children who has diabetes. It is so extremely hard and I have to cope with my anger b/c she won't do like "I" want her to do. If it were my S who was like that......oh, it scares me to think how little patience I would have! As for going the extra mile....it depends on how one sees it, but I have been there for her. I have forced her to take responsibility for taking care of her disease instead of just laying down to down and not put up a fight to live. By "forcing", I mean that I refuse to do it for her. (She's grown, BTW.) It's a long story about all of that, but I know what you are saying. Her dad, OTOH, approached it completely differently and would "baby" her, which I did not think was always the right thing to do. One thing to show compassion.....but you can't do it for them.
Bottom line.....we all show our love in different ways. My parents were the type to apply tough love, and I have done the same over the years.

You could probably get that book at the library. I think you'd like it. It isn't very long.

Have a good Christmas!