If you are learning and growing you are not wasting your time. If you are only doing those things to save your marriage then I do feel there are better ways to spend your time.
So you don't know what to today, right? Nothing wrong with that. Today is just ONE day. Nothing has to be decided or established today. Tomorrow is a different day.
Since you don't know what to do today, do nothing. Your plan was to go dark anyhow so today is a good day to start.
