Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

[quote]I would be cautious on taking this as your new best friend. She may just be buddying up to get information out of you. That had to be funny knowing he was squirming while you 2 were together talking. I can only imagine what was going through his mind.

Kevin

Oh I was being sarcastic. I don't want to be her best friend. Small town, I will see her around but not going to be buddies.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

glad you haven't responded to her yet. you need to keep her at a really big distance. I would tell her that your not going to play the blame game, but that it is in her best interest for her to end her R with him, that she will end up like all the rest. I think it would be best not to tell her details because one, she really doesn't need to hear them, and two, because you know it's going to go back to H, and IMHO, it's not the right thing to do. I really don't think it would benefit anyone in the end.

that is funny about her text to exh...I like that, and good that you didn't respond at the party too.

try your best not to go off on him about it again.. the best thing to do is to be calm, and uphold the boundaries you have set and do it in a calm way. I'd almost want to ask him "what do you really want out of your life? do you feel your making the right choices to help you get there?"

oh, and hey, you are not pathetic!!! a little too focused on the wrong things sometimes, but not pathetic. and of course that girl IS pathetic, she's having an A on her own H.
maybe you can go about that route and divert her attention from exh to her own h? but, that's the helper in me...I still sense that it's not a good idea to be friends with her. so, just becareful whatever you do.

you just need to move outa that tiny town!!!

[Startingover2]

I have been dodging her texts all day. Seriously there have been at least 10. I really don't care if she tells exh we talked. She contacted me and I have nothing to be ashamed of or hide. He is the one who is being so deceptive with people. I did feel, for a split second, a panic if he would find out...what if he gets mad? Then I remember he is wrong.

He sent a text today asking if I was still going to give him crap. I said what for? I am no longer part of the game you are playing with people. He said there was nobody else in his life. I didn't respond.

Of course today he was a no show or no call for his visit time. Thankfully we were hanging out at home anyway.

Tonight baby and I are going to drive around again and look at the Christmas lights. She liked that the other night we did that.

[S.T. _I Made It!]

fun! she is at a great age for looking at lights.

my thought behind not giving all these details is just the fact of speaking about him badly to other people. I think the more you speak badly of him to others the harder things will be. I also think people gain more respect by not talking badly about people. but if you do, it can be ok depending on how you do it. I think it would be best to give a couple facts, but to eliminate details and not just talk about everything.

it's not really about him being mad at you, although that will be a result, but speaking as a christian, I think you are best to keep it as vague as possible and as limited as possible. and because she is so crazy right now, she could take anything you say to the extreme.

also, it might be best to just ignore it because if she's already texting you THIS much..goodness, if you give her some of what she wants, I wonder how much she will continue to try to talk to you and get info. She's desperate too.

what fun you get to deal with!

hey, and your probably going to need to really keep control of yourself, I imagine this is going to cause some new anxiety and anger or guilt or whatever emotion your exh has due to this MGF contact. He is obviously reverting a bit, not showing up, so I would continue to be calm and don't let his actions affect your emotions, just be consistent and calm and I would avoid any txt wars.

[Startingover2]

Yes, I agree with not talking about him badly but at the same time I have picked my words carefully. I did not want he to think he is Mr. Truthful. To her I am psycho, mean, withhold baby, I was awful to him, etc. It was high time exh was called out a little on his stuff.

He has his hands full. Not just with MGF..but with the others as well. I popped in in his emails and he had another woman telling this long time fan of his that they were just friends and now the fan is upset. I mean the drama continues. I know the snooping doesnt help, but in this case it does. Makes me see so clearly that he is one HUGE mess.

He did send a text asking what I was putting in my older kids stockings. I was vague and didn't give him an itemized list. He came back with a smarta** comment. I said...look I will help, but take your bad day out on someone else. He said he was having a bad day and apologized. His own doing!

Oh, when he was angry with me for the party thing he had the nerve to say "you are going to ruin Xmas with this nonsense you know"...ME??? Seriously? How am I ruining it? Upset that your perfect little system has lost a wheel?

He is supposed to come tonight to put babys gift together. No big deal.

Late last night MGF sent me a text saying her husband (although she calls him her ex) was taking her to the er because she now has hives and a swollen IV site. That must have driven exh crazy. There isnt room for 2 drama queens in a relationship.

[Startingover2]

So yesterday was ok. Trying to finish up loose ends before Xmas Eve. Couple more errands today and I am done!

Exh came over in the morning to say hi to baby. Actually he sent a text but I was in the shower, I answered 10 minutes later and said he could come over. Just then my son came and told me that exh was parked in our driveway just sitting in his truck. He said I didn't answer so he came over. Whatever.

He came back later and put together babys gift. Baby and I were going to go out and look at lights and I invited him. He said ok, and said he would be back. His mom was arriving at his house and needed to get home. He texted and said he was having to run his girls around and had to pass. No big deal.

The rest of his family is coming into town today. A few staying with him and a few with his sister. I know he is excited/stressed at the same time. Always is. Probably why his is communicating more. He is excited for the family thing, but then realizes we are not 'like them'. His family lives down the road.

[Startingover2]

I am going to have to find a nice way of telling MGF that topics of exh are off limits. She seems like a nice enough woman..strange situation. She calls her husband her 'ex', but they haven't even filed for D. She caught me yesterday on IM and I caved. Gotta say I was as curious as she was. My fault. It wasn't bad. She said he hasn't contacted her since Sunday and the party. She went on to say that after her surgery he brought her flowers and called her every night she was in hospital. Ok, I know sort of different because I saw emails during that time begging him to call or see her. She did mention all of the horrible names exh has called me through the months, which at first ticked me off, but what else is he gonna say? I think she is holding on and trying to see what he is doing. I didn't volunteer any information about him...just listened to hers.

I don't want to make an enemy here, but I know why she is talking to me.

[JAK58]

So2,
I would not believe her about what he may or may not be calling you if you already know she is lying so be carefull and try not talking to her at all.

On a better not have a great holidays with you family!

JAK

[K4D]

Christmas Eve tomorrow night. Get ready to make the most of it. It will be your baby's second Christmas and you will have your other kids. I bet it is going to be great. Got anything special planned for tomorrow night such as dinner or desert or anything?

Kevin

[Startingover2]

Christmas Eve tomorrow night. Get ready to make the most of it. It will be your baby's second Christmas and you will have your other kids. I bet it is going to be great. Got anything special planned for tomorrow night such as dinner or desert or anything?

Kevin

Xmas Eve we always go to my moms with the rest of my family. Its always fun and things have worked out well with my other kids dad because my family celebrates Xmas Eve and their dads family does Xmas Day. The kids will be with me in the morning and then head to thier dads for the rest of the day.

I told Exh that all of my kids and even boyfriends will be here Xmas Eve so every bed and couch is taken so it would be easier for him to come over early Xmas morning. He wants to be here to do Xmas eve stuff and then leave. Whhhheeewww! I was worried about him wanting to stay.