I read your entire thread and learned a lot from it. We are both in the exact same situation. I see Wonderful is here too.... another person who shares our pain.
Yeah, Facebook is evil. That's how my situation got started. I picked up on my wife's change with the new cougar wardrobe too. I confided in other women for advice and support, some where both of our friends. That really pissed her off when she found out.
Keep up the positive changes in yourself and don't be to clingy or go overboard. Be a good Dad. She will take notice. The counter-intuitive approach works. Just make sure that the A is over.
Check out my thread. Some great books were recommended to me. You should read those.
I will check back and follow your sitch.. Sorry you are here too.
Me:49 W: 41 Kids=D14/D14/S10 Married: 15 Together: 16 Bomb: 08/26/09 Currently: separated but in the different houses.