Calling out the Piecers

[dday101798]

Thats okay for now, I have my life and my kids and life is going on...

And THAT mar, is the mindset I've been trying to get you in! Congrats, for coming to that conclusion. In time, if it's meant to be then it will. I posted in response to a friend in surviving this realization and summary I've come up with in viewing my wonderful (x)W come around full circle.

To me there are [at least] 3 stages for this to work.

1-the WAS finally admits to themselves what they are doing is wrong. They then spend some time to heal and console themselves.

2-the WAS admits and reaches out to the LBS what they've realized in step 1. They then pause again, to sort of test the water of a R with the LBS and make sure they haven't just confused themselves again.

3-(probably the hardest and where we're at now)-the WAS then admits to friends and family they were wrong. That all the re-writing history and falicies against the LBS to paint an ok picture for their actions (especially where an A is concerned), were not true and that what they thought they wanted was all wrong in every aspect.


That said, mar, I think your sitch touched on step 2. It seems you and your H still have internal issues, and consequently, those issues have halted forward progress. So, like I've been saying, take some time. Let H re-group. At the same time, re-think your strategies, and especially figure out why you two still ahve such a hard thing with communication! For me, my (x)W and I are communicating so much better. We handle our remaining conflicts with compassion for the other's feelings. We used to be so "good" at pushing the others buttons. Now that we know where that gets us, neither of us wants to go there ever again.