Pls help--confused and fearful

[Day by Day]

DBD,I have been retyping and deleting responses to this. I totally get why you don't want to get him a present. He hasn't been respectful to you and he just started seeing the kids more.
I guess I am inclined to take the higher road...and recommend you do as well. He is the kids' father. (arrggggh I still feel protective of you and conflicted as I type that!!) So something like a giftcard to somewhere is not so bad. The amount doesn't matter that's for sure.

He hasn't been super involved with his kids this whole time during the separation, right? That is the only reason why I hesitate.I want to punish him, too!

It sounds like the kids are in counseling, right? Good for you. I remember as a kids from divorced parents that I felt guilty for still loving my dad and wanting to be with him because I loved my mom, too,and felt loyal to her. I found out later as an adult that this is super common among children of divorce, but I never had counseling as a kid so I just felt guilt for years!

Anyway, right now he is being a crappy dad but what about before the A? And hasn't he been trying to improve? It's better than walking away completely from his kids.

{{newmama}} You are such a sweetheart to feel protective of me Your WH is a fool to not worry about losing a wonderful wife like you.

I guess I'll have the kids put in their input on what to get him, but after reading your and P's posts, I'm thinking a minimal gift card to Starbucks. WH doesn't drink coffee but can have hot chocolate. I will take the high road in spite of him cutting off money. I'm thinking of the kids being empty handed at the gift exchange.

The kids don't want counseling. S says it's a waste of time and doesn't fix anything. When they are ready I'll take them. I hope soon. No, WH is still a crappy dad and he hasn't improved. He doesn't seem to care. He only spent time with them yesterday because I emailed him to see if he was going to get them Monday as usual since I didn't hear from him. He responded by switching to Tues. He is really wants to control everything.