The whole key here is whether the OM was told that you will tell his wife if they don't end this affair. That is your ace in the hole here. If he knows what you told your wife then this should send HIM packing and HE will end the contact with your wife.
Now for your wife. You need to observe her actions and attitudes. Her anger at you right now does seem to show that they are not in contact. What you need to be aware of is that she may start to consider moving out. The reason for this is that she would be thinking that if she moves out, then she can tell the OM that you are out of the picture. She would then use that as her hope that he will pick back up where they left off. If she starts to say things to you that implies she thinks she should move out or you move out, then you should be aware that she is wearing down on the no contact and thinks that would solve the problem and that she could get him to start up contact with her again. She would be able to tell him that she has left you and not to worry about you anymore. Watch out for this from her. It would be a sign that she wants to contact him.
Be observant of her ACTIONS and attitude. At this point her anger shows that HE probably wants to cut off contact and she has to abide by what he wants. He NEEDS to be scared that you WILL tell his wife. Most men will run for the hills if they are married and think their wife will find out about an affair.
Your wife probably isn't worried about you right now, but is worried about HIM and doesn't want his wife to find out because of her concern for HIM. She will more than likely try another tactic at some point. Moving out would be one she may consider.
