you did fine. You'd be blowing it be whining now since she isn't ready to run into your arms again. She needs lots of this relaxed low expectation stuff from you, OVER TIME...and you need to let her.
Change in behavior + time = POSSIBLE reconciliation...
Even if you were moving towards recon, it would start with siimple bonding times that have no fights...so I'd say you got a step done!...but if you had expected more and shown your disappointment, or read too much into everything, you'd have fallen 2 steps back. So pat yourself on the back. A little at a time is all you can hope for that is realistic. None of my h's changes were dramatic at once, they built up. When they reach a critical mass, you'll know.
Good luck, keep expectations low but be upbeat b/c of what a great guy you are....remember those "contrast your positiives warmth/offerings, with her negative/needy" images and you'll be okay. Your w's behavior or her plans do NOT matter NOW. The kids do. No K4, she's not ready to get back together. But you knew that already. She MAY be ready to hang out some though...if you keep up the positives, she may well be. So do that. And take ONE step at a time...it is a long road. So is marriage.
Merry Christmas, j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
