Now, back to business at hand! When he says that its all your fault, do you argue it, or do you validate? You dont have to agree- or take the responsibility, but its pretty harmless- even helpful to tell him that you understand how he feels that way. I think that we forget to be more aware of what our spouses are going through- not to minimize what he has put the 3 of you through, but I think that just by minimizing their experience, as unimportant, or as not nearly as bad as what they have put us through, we do ourselves and our marriages a disservice.
I think that we can all use a little more skill at that kind of empathy.
Did you tell him that if he wants to work it out, counseling is non negotiable?
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
