Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

Deep - great words.
First of all, the sarcasm didn't come out in the typing. I do NOT at all look forward to Christmas opening gifts. That was pure sarcasm. I think it will be hell. I am not trying to score points and I've debated the gifts to no end, but cannot figure out what to do. Since I had all the ideas and bought almost all the gifts before the major falling out after exposing the EA, I guess I'm just going to press ahead and give them. I have no clue what is the right thing to do. I've gotten past scoring points...I've learned the hard way that doesn't work. I've got receipts and fully anticipate her saying she won't accept some or all of them...especially the nice pair of diamond earrings.

Yes I've heard over and over how somehow every day of our marriage was pure misery caused by me, there were never any good times and never did I do anything right. I am the cause of her misery.

THe boundary I have set is no contact at all else I contact OM's wife. So for Facebook, she has not crossed that boundary yet as neither she nor he have posted anything to each other since the boundary was established and they used to regularly.

I have no idea if my W can go cold turkey. She will be smarter if she goes deeper undercover, she is a very bright woman. I will verify as much as I can, but she has had to have learned from being sloppy before. I think her #1 motivation is him not being hurt, but the #2 motivation is her own reputation and his reputation. she has worked hard in her career to get where she is and has an outstanding reputation that means a lot her.