Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Thanks Peace.
The waiting is hard. My life is certainly not on hold. I guess the waiting to se what happens next, to see if H's separation and plan for divorce, causes another shift.

There has been more positive feelings when we see each other-no negative interactions.

We've hugged a few times. H's friend's ex-wife recently passed away and his friend wasn'treally sad except for his daughter's loss. It seemed to affect H alot..it made me cry when I heard this, thinking about being divorced and H passing away..just sad. H gave me a hug to comfort me.

I'm trying not to read anything into these changes..but things don't make sense about H divorcing me...He's spending alot of money to improve his business-money for the lawyer's retainer..just think he's accruing debt for his business and won't be able to find a place to move that will have room for the girls..just doesn't make complete sense.

Just wondering if H separating from me will solidify his feelings about me, will help him feel "emancipated" and independent..and then he can move forward. Maybe he'll realize that all the tension and uncomfortable feelings he's had aren't from anything external(me)...and do the internal work he needs to do...

I invited H to join me and the girls for our trip to the Denver Zoo Lights(DB counselor suggested this-something spontaneous that would remind him of what he's missing/losing) and H wants to go. He seems sort of excited that we're making this a new tradition. The first time was last year after H decided to move out, but before he actually moved. Let's hope its a success. Should be fun!