Rob, honestly, man you do not want the details. It is not as simple as you say "pre-conceived notions."
It a MF'ing vision that will never go away once you really know.
You might think it does then one day a year or two or five or seven years down the road you are sitting at the kitchen table having a beer then BAM like a god''damn horror film the whole scene changes and BZZZZZZZZ its in your mind and thats all you see suddenly and you are pissed off for good.
It comes back from time to time before that, here and there. Anything you hear about it from her, things they did, places, stupid things like they drank budwiser, well $hit, hate the king of beers, you are drinking PBR from now on. He had an SUV. You'll never want to get in one again. and honestly, you might never put your mouth down there again.
and find out who he is 2 years later? you wont beat the daylights out of the guy next time you see him? honestly Rob, think about it.
Little F'ing details of this and that? they get in the crevices of your mind and mess you up down the road. Ask people who have been there. they are not the ones whose marriages survived infidelity.
When I read these young guys whose wife is having an affair or worse on her second or third and he professing his unconditional love to her in his posts, I some times sit back and think he hasnt seen it yet. He doesnt get the visions. There isnt really anyway to warn him. He wont listen; he isnt listening to anything anybody who isnt trying to comfort him is saying anyway.
So, I'm just giving you something to think about. A little counter-intuititive version of what you think it might be like for you.
strength, confidence, self respect have nothing to do with it; its some guy porking your wife and hearing the details from her mouth and then living with her and that knowledge afterwards. its hard to supress.
maybe she wont tell you because she knows you will walk away. should walk away after hearing.
