Hey Luv, Can't remember if I posted this before or not (if so, sorry, too lazy to go back and check )
But, one of the things I did which turned out to be quite successful was to make our home a place my H wanted to come to. I would light candles in the evening, try to make nice meals, tidy up etc. I would work on making the home environment as calm as possible. I did this mostly for me and the kids, because we needed a calm enviroment while their dad was acting like a self-centred a$$! But, later , after H ended A and re-commited to the M, he told me this was something that "f'ked with his head". I said, "In what way?" He said, "I would leave OW whose life was chaos, drama and dysfunction with her constant demands, and come home to peace, and calm, and... a HOME and a FAMILY". I had my boundaries in place, but I didn't pressure, badger, etc. He said he would find himself asking, "How can I leave THIS for THAT?"
Just a thought....
You have to be careful not to do this to allow cake eating or to make it seem like you are desperately attempting to keep him. Do it for you and the kids, but it is something he will enjoy and find out he NEEDS! (from what I've read, most men long for a calm, safe haven from the world to come home to)
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