The Truth Hurts

[P17]

Sorry to be a blubbering mess. I'm trying to draw strength from the anger, but it keeps getting drowned out.

First things first. Don't be sorry. That's why we are all here. And for the record we have ALL (and that's every single one of us) been where you are and been blubbering messes. That's part of the process.

I don't want this to be over! W texted me this afternoon, wanting to know if I was ready to tell her what's up. I haven't responded, but I want to SO BAD!! I'm in such a bad place right now. Even after everything she has done to me and my family, I still love her so deeply.

And you will for a very long time regardless of what you do, file for D, R, whatever. You need to remember that.

Talked to my D lawyer today, and he recommended we keep the Monday appt to get together and draw up the papers to file next week. She'd be served right before New Years.

Is that what you want to do?

I'm doing everything in my power go completely dark over Christmas, but I feel so weak. I know if I talk to her, she'll just feed me more lies, justifications and excuses...just to string me along.

Draw strength from the fact that YOU have the power now. She has no idea what is going on. She is a player in your game now and she doesn't know the rules. You do. You even know what the pieces are all doing. She doesn't.

Going dark is very very hard. Try not to respond to any texts, voicemails or emails right away. Read them. STOP YOURSELF REPLYING and then walk away. For a few hours or even days. Post here for advice.

Remember DO NOT REPLY. She will get nasty or manipulative. It's all designed to get you to reply. She may be nasty, nice, nasty, nice yo yo. Don't fall for it. You know her game. DO NOT RESPOND.

God, this hurts so much!! How can I still have even an ounce of hope that we could work things out after everything that's gone on?! I want my wife and the mother of my son back in our lives...not the way it was, but the way it could be.

It's going to hurt. It's going to get worse. And it's going to be nasty for you. You need to know this. But you need to get through this for you and S. Life is NOT over. But your M may well be. That is for you to decide. This is not W's decision. It's yours.

My advice is for W to get help if she is in fact a serial adulterer. Somebody like that cannot remain in a committed marriage without it.



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