Unstoppable

[saffie]

On the way to cub scouts last night I mentioned to S8 how I appreciated that he, S5 and his mother managed to make it to church the previous day. S8 replied that they had actually left Mr. OM's house in plenty of time, at "ten o'clock", to make it to church.

I replied, "Oh, you left at 10 PM last night? You didn't stay the night at Mr. OM's place after all?"

S8 clarified, "No, we did stay overnight. We just left at 10 AM in the morning to make it to church on time."

Nocodes - did it feel good putting your son in that position? You set him up for than answer. Shame on you. I was eight when my parents split and I knew when my dad was playing me for ammunition. Luckliy my mother rose above all that nonsense and I now appreciate the hurts she must have gone through in order to maintain the peace in my and my sister's lives. Kids hear more than you think and they draw their own conclusions even if they don't say anything. They also don't want to be disloyal to either parent.

You are too good to do this to your sons. You are going to make them suffer for their mother's sins. Whatever she has done she always will be their mom.

I know what my dad did. I know what he was, and can still be like. I know who the 'grown up' and caring person in their M was. Doesn't a good old bible story with a baby and 'two' mothers come to mind?

In no way do I condone what your W is doing and I would want to commit murder in your shoes, BUT there are more important things at stake here than your W and showing her what she can and can't get away with. You will end up making your son's frightened to say anything to you and they will learn to be quiet or filter the truth in order to keep the peace. Unless you think that OM is physically/mentally harming your son's I would really advise caution at this juncture.

Unfortunately your W knows just which buttons to push with you and she seems to be an excessively unkind woman.

As an aside, I was once told that utter indifference was the most hurtful reaction one person can give another - rather than rising to the bait perhaps you could try that at this juncture and leave the big guns for a time when you may need to pull out something bigger. I don't think your ex would like to think you were indifferent to her - she may no longer want you as her H but she still enjoys whipping you; don't give her that satisfaction.

I don't mean to seem uncaring......I just wanted you to know that this grown up 8yr old remembers which of her parents took the high ground - and it paid off.