feel like giving up - talk to me!

[luvless]

Hope you don't mind if I chime in with some thoughts Luv, and really these are not easy for me to say, brings back a lot of bad memories in more ways than one.

I rambled in a post some time back about how the LBS craves for 2 things - a sense of empathy and justice, to make sense of this sheer insane injustice that is being forced on him/her. It is often mentioned how the WAS has this warped sense of entitlement, and that's true enough. Funnily enough, I feel the LBS often has a sense of entitlement too. It can be more easily and logically justified, sure, and it is closely tied in to resentment.

I remember clearly the time when my W was trying in her own way to find a way back to the M. She had "wanted to stay", even if OM was "her true soulmate". Some of the things I did and said to her must have felt brutal, I simply could not keep in check my anger. Only much later when I detached did I get a better handle on things. The (relative) absence of a pressure cooker environment and stress for us both in dealing with negative feelings allowed W to regain herself. Over time, and as a huge (if welcome) surprise, the falling in love again just happened.

As someone told me a long time ago - You could be right, you could have justice, or you could have your M. Choose.

I too have thought about being the LBS with entitlement tied to resentment. Don't think I haven't...but DEEP stuff and I'm hearing you.